The Islamic republic of Pakistan is known as the guardian of human rights, emblem of peace; and economically, the land of opportunities to the world. People ‘die’ to get its visas and countries ‘beg’ for its friendship. The crime rate is negligible and the literacy rate is near 100%. More importantly, Pakistan is an example for the world when it comes to guarding women rights, protection of minorities and the importance given to morals and human rights by its people. Its people are predominantly religious and therefore drinking, gambling, prostitution, stealing, non marital relationships, human rights violations are non existent throughout the country. No rape case has been noticed in Pakistan since CM Sindh Qaim Ali Shah was a toddler.
When all is going so well for Pakistan, Meera’s and her husband’s immoral video has been leaked on the internet. Pakistani men, showing their high moral character didn’t download the video nor tried to watch it on-line. But CIA, Jewish lobby and Indian RAW (who for sure were definitely behind leaking the video in the first place) used some technology to get the video automatically downloaded in all mobile phones, laptops and desktops in Pakistan. When people switched on their gadgets, the video suspiciously came on the screens.
After realizing that the video was vulgar, Pakistani men who are known for their high morals, immediately tried to switch off the computers or look elsewhere but Jewish and Indian magic tricks didn’t let this happen.
Since no such videos have ever been uploaded from Pakistan before, especially none showing those girls or couple who didn’t even know they were being filmed, and since Karachi police didn’t recently discover that shopkeepers had placed cameras in women dressing rooms to film them while they were changing clothes, this video surprised the nation.
The pious ones did find a way to fail this foreign plan though. They blinded themselves by bursting their eyes open with pointy objects -a small price to pay to save themselves from this moral corruption.
The next day, Facebook and twitter were full of memes about Meera’s video. Since the pious and chaste Pakistani men and women didn’t watch the video, we can safely assume that these memes (many in urdu) were a foreign conspiracy to badmouth Pakistan. Some people were seen discussing about the video on live television, even talking about the specific dialogues spoken by the couple in the video. Since we don’t expect honourable anchors and media personnel to watch such a video, we can once again safely assume that the TV personnel either said things under black magic influence from the neighbouring ‘enemy’ or were forced to talk about the video under control of blackwater/raw/cia/mossad’s mind controlling technologies.
Nevertheless, men of honour-also widely known as the ‘Gherat brigade’ have come in action to punish the culprits (USA has superman,batman, spider-man; we have honour man). For ‘Gherat brigade’ this task is of utmost importance since Pakistan is free of the problems which ‘immoral’ nations around the world face-corruption, nepotism, terrorism, child abuse, violation of rights of minorities, load shedding,high inflation, rapes etc..
A petitioner of this Gherat brigade has gone to court pleading that “The couple spread obscenity in society and challenged Islamic values,” urging the court to make an example of them.
Where courts of the immoral nations may have problems such as “more than a million pending unheard cases” and thousands of innocents lying in prisons because of them, while hundreds of thousands of culprits roaming free, Pakistani courts have plenty of time on their hands-especially for such a vital issue which has affected the life of all ordinary Pakistanis.
Additional District and Sessions Judge Safdar Bhatti immediately heard the case and issued arrest warrants for Meera and her husband. After all, this is the biggest issue that Pakistan currently faces and has damaged Pakistan’s image beyond repair.
I really hope that the couple receives the severest punishment- I propose either making them listen to Altaf bhai’s recorded speeches continuously for a day or all of Ghulam Ahmad Billour and Chaudhry Shujat Hussain’s assembly addresses”